I wanted to write something from a widow’s perspective one year on. In the first weeks and months I searched online a lot to try and understand how long it would take me to feel better. The pain is so excruciating that you are desperate to find out from others how long they had to … Continue reading One year on: a widow’s perspective
It’s 21st July, 2025 – Fiddian’s birthday. He would have been 62 today, and on the 23rd we would have been married for 9 years. I’m in Vietnam, travelling for work. I was only supposed to come for one week, but I extended it so that I wouldn’t be in the UK for these anniversaries. … Continue reading Remembering
On the long drive home from my father-in-law’s 90th birthday party in Shropshire (where I valiantly held it together for almost three days before collapsing into a puddle of tears), I listened to a podcast about recovering from grief. In it I learned that the famous “five stages of grief” model has been largely debunked. … Continue reading Despair
I live in a new house now. I started moving over from the old side to the new about six weeks ago. I’d always had a deadline of 1st April as that’s when Tom, my lead builder, was free again to come back to the project. That also gave me enough time to complete the … Continue reading Devotion
I thought the last of my sad blog posts might have been written, but then I hit rock bottom, or at least, rock bottom so far. Three months into my grief journey and things are getting worse, not better. I have patches of decent days; sometimes even good days, but then – out of nowhere … Continue reading Sorrow
I’ve been dreading writing about the funeral, but I think it deserves a post of its own. It was a very intense, beautiful day, although probably the hardest of my life. I don’t particularly like recalling it, but perhaps in future I will want to. A number of people have also asked me to share … Continue reading Funeral
The four weeks between Fiddian dying and me leaving Cornwall to visit Venice with his children were easily the strangest weeks of my life. Bossiney Court was really put through its paces in that time – guest house, wake/celebration venue, community bonfire events, retreat. So many times I stopped to marvel at the difference in … Continue reading Mourning
bookbusbird 